I'm just shopping around

You tell a lender you're shopping around for the best mortgage. Instead of simply providing a quote, the lender discourages comparison shopping.

But, here's what's really happening...

Now that you understand the tactic, let's look at the three most common angles lenders use to discourage comparison shopping.

➡ Three Ways Lenders Discourage Comparison Shopping

Angle 1: Service Quality Deflection

Lender says: "Most lenders are going to give you the same thing. The difference is in the service and the relationship you build with your loan officer. That's what really matters."

Most people respond: "You're right, service is important. What can you offer me?"

Don't do that. This lender is claiming that rates and costs are uniform across lenders, so the only differentiator is their personal service. While service DOES matter, rates and fees vary significantly—often by thousands of dollars. By accepting the premise that "all lenders are the same," you've stopped shopping before seeing if this lender's pricing is competitive. Service quality matters after you've identified competitive pricing, not instead of it.

Angle 2: Uniformity Claim

Lender says: "Shopping around is a waste of time. All lenders get their rates from the same place, so you're going to get the same rates everywhere. Why waste your time?"

Most people respond: "I didn't realize that. Maybe I should just go with you then."

Don't do that. This lender is claiming that mortgage pricing is uniform across the industry, which is false. While lenders DO access similar wholesale rate sheets, their markup (profit margin) varies dramatically. Two lenders can offer the same base rate but differ by $3,000-$5,000 in fees and closing costs. By accepting this uniformity claim, you've eliminated your own leverage before comparing actual written offers.

Angle 3: Guilt Trip

Lender says: "I've spent time working on your file and getting you pre-approved. Don't you think it's fair to give me a chance before you shop around?"

Most people respond: "You're right, that's only fair. Let me see what you can offer."

Don't do that. This lender is using the time they've invested to create a sense of obligation—making you feel like shopping around would be unfair or disloyal. While courtesy matters, this is a business transaction involving hundreds of thousands of dollars. By committing out of guilt, you've prioritized the lender's feelings over your own financial interests. Professional lenders expect shoppers to compare offers.

The Pattern

Notice that in all three scenarios, the lender successfully discouraged you from collecting competitive written offers by making shopping feel unnecessary, wasteful, or unfair. Get written Loan Estimates from multiple lenders regardless of service claims or guilt.

➡ What You Should Say Instead

Regardless of which discouragement angle the lender uses, your response remains the same:

I appreciate your perspective, and I'm sure your service is excellent. However, I'd like to get written Loan Estimates from a few lenders to compare. Can you provide me with a Loan Estimate that includes the interest rate, monthly payment, and all closing costs?

Here's why this response works for all three angles:

• For Angle 1 (Service Quality Deflection): Acknowledges service matters while insisting on price comparison first
• For Angle 2 (Uniformity Claim): Tests the uniformity claim by requesting written quotes to compare
• For Angle 3 (Guilt Trip): Appreciates their time while maintaining your right to shop

The script is polite but firm. It doesn't question the lender's service quality or intentions—it simply insists on comparing numbers first.

➡ Key Takeaway

Shopping around is your right. A confident lender will put their offer in writing and let the numbers speak for themselves.