My agent said to use their preferred lender
Handle lender doubts about real estate agent recommendations. Stay in control while shopping for a home loan.
What You'll Learn in This Chapter
- Why lenders create doubt about agent referrals instead of competing with written offers
- How to separate legitimate concerns about referral relationships from competitive avoidance tactics
- Scripts to maintain your shopping rights while respecting your agent relationship
You mention that your real estate agent recommended a specific lender. A competing lender responds: "Are you sure your agent is looking out for your best interests, or are they just trying to close the deal quickly? Most agents get referral fees from their preferred lenders."
But, here's what's really happening...
Agent Referral Doubt-Creation is a tactic where lenders undermine your agent's recommendations to prevent you from using the referred lender without also comparing their offer. The loan officer's process is to frame agent referrals as potentially corrupt or self-serving, making you question your agent's motives—while conveniently ignoring that THEY also want your business and haven't provided a competitive written offer yet.
As a shopper, your counter-process is to recognize that agent referrals are legitimate sources of lender options AND you should compare multiple offers regardless of source. Agents may receive referral compensation, but they also have strong incentives to refer reliable lenders who close on time (failed closings hurt agents). When lenders create doubt about agent referrals without competing with written offers, they're revealing they'd rather you dismiss the referral than compare their pricing to it. Your agent's referral deserves consideration alongside other competitive offers.
Now that you understand the tactic, let's look at the three most common angles lenders use to create doubt about agent referrals.
➡ Three Ways Lenders Create Doubt About Agent Referrals
Angle 1: Referral Fee Doubt
Lender says: "Are you sure your agent is looking out for your best interests, or are they just trying to close the deal quickly? Most agents get referral fees from their preferred lenders, and that might not be in your best interest."
Most people respond: "You're right, I didn't think about that. Maybe I should just go with you instead."
Don't do that. Agents may receive referral compensation, but that doesn't make the referral bad or the competing lender's offer better. Agents have strong incentives to refer lenders who actually close deals on time—failed closings cost agents their commissions. By dismissing your agent's referral without comparing offers, you've eliminated a potentially competitive lender based on innuendo rather than actual pricing.
Angle 2: Explanation Doubt
Lender says: "Did your agent explain WHY they recommended that lender, or did they just tell you to use them? If they didn't explain the benefits, they might not be looking out for your best interests."
Most people respond: "Well, they didn't really explain it. Maybe you're right that I should reconsider."
Don't do that. This lender is using the absence of a detailed explanation as evidence of bad intent—while also not explaining why THEIR offer is better. Agents often make referrals based on reliable past performance rather than detailed pricing analysis. The quality of the referral explanation doesn't determine the quality of the lender's offer. Compare written Loan Estimates, not explanations.
Angle 3: Decision Authority Doubt
Lender says: "Are you comfortable with your agent making financial decisions for you? Choosing a lender is a big financial decision, and you should make sure you're getting the best deal for your situation."
Most people respond: "You're right, I should be making this decision myself. Let me work with you instead."
Don't do that. This lender is framing consideration of your agent's referral as abdication of decision-making responsibility. But considering a referral as ONE option in your comparison shopping is smart—dismissing it without comparison because a competing lender questioned it is actually letting the competing lender make your decision for you.
The Pattern
Notice that in all three scenarios, the lender successfully prevented you from comparing their offer to the agent-referred lender by creating doubt about the referral itself. Judge lenders by their written offers, not by their criticism of how you found other lenders.
➡ What You Should Say Instead
Regardless of which doubt-creation angle the lender uses, your response remains the same:
I appreciate your perspective on agent referrals, and I'm considering all my options. I'd like to get written Loan Estimates from a few lenders to compare, including the one my agent recommended and your offer. Can you provide me with a written Loan Estimate?
Here's why this response works for all three angles:
- For Angle 1 (Referral Fee Doubt): Acknowledges concern without dismissing the referral—you'll compare both
- For Angle 2 (Explanation Doubt): Focuses on written offers rather than verbal explanations
- For Angle 3 (Decision Authority Doubt): Demonstrates you ARE making your own decision by comparing multiple offers
The script treats agent referrals as legitimate lender options that deserve comparison alongside other competitive offers—not as something to dismiss based on competitor criticism.
➡ See The Mortgage Script in Action
➡ Key Takeaway
Agent referrals are legitimate sources of lender options. Get written Loan Estimates from your agent's referral AND from other lenders to compare. Don't dismiss referrals based on competitor doubt-creation—judge all lenders by their written offers.
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